


Confessions

by Bexinthecity247



Category: Bodyguard (TV 2018)
Genre: Continuation of a one shot with an expansion, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-03
Updated: 2018-12-03
Packaged: 2019-09-06 08:06:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16828546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bexinthecity247/pseuds/Bexinthecity247
Summary: There’s half a dozen recordings...” he started, trailing off as his eyes caught hers. She looked almost afraid “Of you... and the security service, Longcross, anyone who came to your room.”She looked at him, eyes wide, mouth falling open.“What?” she tried to say but the breath had been stolen from her lungs. She felt sick.“I was told to make these recordings for SO15 and Lorraine Craddock... and-”“I’m sorry, you did what?!” she said, disbelief and something else, something far colder, spreading across her like a wildfire.





	Confessions

**Author's Note:**

> So, SO many people asked for this to be a standalone with a continuation so I have taken the original piece from Snapshots and I have evolved it into a multi-chapter (I hope - if I can figure out a way to resolve their trust in non 'out of character' way).

“Julia... I really need to talk to you,” he said, shifting from one foot to another in the doorway. She frowned. The aftermath of an explosion was hardly the time for any kind of personal conversation with him, no matter how much she felt the urge to jump his bones.

Something about death, or near death apparently made people horny, she’d heard and now she was experiencing it first-hand. But she was tiring quickly of the constant comings and goings of various police officers, security service agents, ministers, all determined to ensure the great and almighty Julia Montague was still standing. Not a single one of them had any clue as to who had tried to blow her stage up, and almost her. All she wanted was sleep.

Her ears were still muffled, a temporary symptom of the blast, she’s told. It’ll fade with time but the way she flinched when the door was opened and closed a little too loudly, she doubted ever will. Still, she looked at him, her gaze vacant she was sure. She stepped aside and let him into the room, it was bland, far unlike the Blackwood, and there was no adjoining room for him to slink off into, no matter how much she wanted him to stay.

“I erm... I have to go into SO15 tomorrow to make a statement,” David said, moving into the room. 

“Okay,” she said, an unease was beginning to grow in her. 

He reached into his pocket and pulled out something silver, holding it out to her when he was across the threshold. Turning it over and over, she recognised it as a USB flash drive and her confusion, her unease grew.

“What is it?”

He sank onto her bed, glance firmly fixed ahead, though he could see her moving around to face him, in his peripheral.

“There’s half a dozen recordings...” he started, trailing off as his eyes caught hers. She looked almost afraid “Of you... and the security service, Longcross, anyone who came to your room.”

She looked at him, eyes wide, mouth falling open. 

“What?” she tried to say but the breath had been stolen from her lungs. She felt sick.

“I was told to make these recordings for SO15 and Lorraine Craddock... and-” 

“I’m sorry, you did what?!” she said, disbelief and something else, something far colder, spreading across her like a wildfire.

“Julia - I swear, I never shared them with anyone and I-” he held his hands over his mouth.

“You’ve been spying on me?” Her voice was calm, passive almost, but he could see horror in her eyes. He pinched his lower lip.

“I- I had to- I -” he stammered, standing to reach out for her, but she pulled dramatically away from him.

“Was this before or after you started fucking me?” she said, her eyes, hard as glass, met his and he hated himself. She was hurt, angry, devastated even and he felt her slipping away from him before his eyes.

“Julia, what happened between us, had nothing to do with it. I swear.” He was reaching out for her again but again, she side stepped him.

“Don’t touch me!” she said and when she spun to look at him, he was surprised to see tears in her eyes. 

“Julia,” he said, his eyes blurring as he saw their world crumbling around them. “That’s the only copy, on that drive.”

She stopped, her chest heaving and her head floating. 

“Is that why you slept with me?” she asked, pulling her calm exterior back on. 

He looked at her sadly, his chest ached, and he shook his head, but she turned abruptly away. 

“I need you to leave,” she only said, her voice dark, and it sounded all too final. 

“Please don’t-just listen-”

Desperation burned through him; out of all the ways that their burgeoning relationship would come to a crushing end, he had least anticipated it ending like this. 

“David, I really need you to leave.” She sounded broken, like she had done when she’d first kissed him.

He moved to the door, hand hovering on the handle as she turned away from him, her breath quickening as her stomach squeezed and betrayal rose in her throat. He was always doing what everyone told him to do, but it was never what he wanted to do. With that revelation, he dropped the handle and turned to her. She’d sunk onto the bed, her hand stretched out to support her weight, the other clutching her chest.

“I won’t leave, because you need to know.” Her eyes rose reluctantly to meet his. “What happened between us, was real, IS real and it has nothing to do with what I was asked to do, or whatever shady shit you’ve gotten yourself so tangled up in that someone is actively trying to blow you up. None of that matters, what matters is this,” he gestured between them and she chewed her lip. “THIS.”

“Fine,” she said under her breath, pushing herself from the bed and storming past him. 

“Jul-” 

“If you won’t leave, then I will,” she snapped.

This time when he reached out for her, his hand connected around her arm and he pulled on it. Her eyes went wildly from his hand to his face, saw the contrition floating in his eyes. But it wasn’t enough to douse the fires of treason. She expected treachery from all around her, anyone desperate to overthrow her, but she had never expected it from him and perhaps that’s what hurt the most. 

“Just... can we just talk, let me explain. Please!” he said, eyes down cast, tone low and destitute. 

She moved away from him, giving him the opportunity to drop her arm, which he did almost immediately, and she sank onto the edge of the bed. 

“Go on then,” she rose her eyes to his, issuing a challenge, as he pulled out the chair from under the vanity table. 

He leant forward, his clasped hands dropping between his knees, head bent down. She watched him lift a hand to his chin, rubbing his face roughly. She sighed, turning away from him and just when she thought he’d never speak, he opened his mouth.

“We … slept together before any of this happened,” he said, his breath heaving. “And I – I never expected to feel...” he stopped, eyes searching hers. What did he feel?

She looked away, unable to sustain the glance between them without feeling herself drawing into him.

“I never expected to feel like this,” he settled for and she felt pain sweep through her. 

It didn’t hurt this much even when Roger fucked his secretary on her birthday. She couldn’t look at him. She hated him. Hated how he had made her feel for him in a way she hadn’t felt for anyone in so long. Hated how he was now tarnishing every moment they’d spent together because she couldn’t decide if his smiles had been genuine or were because he was working her. _He looks_ _pretty genuine_ _now,_ the other half of her said.

“You already said that,” she said drily.

He wanted to laugh, to shout, to tell her to shut up, to do anything but sit there. He sighed, desperately trying to untangle the web of lies in his mind.

“I was taken into a meeting, after Thornton Circus, with Anne Sampson and Lorraine Craddock. I was told you did nothing to stop the bomb on my son’s school-” Her head swiveled in his direction, her eyes shooting to his and her mouth opened, ready to speak but he held up his hand, silencing her. “I was angry, blinded by anger that after everything, you had lied to me and I believed what they said. They put me in that room, gave me the equipment and told me to record any meetings you had. Which I did... but I didn’t share the recordings with them, and nor did I disclose more than I had to, to complete my duties.”

“Your duties?” she said, tilting her head. It had become too hard to keep her emotions safely behind her walls and he hated the way her voice cracked. 

“My duties.” he repeated solemnly. “But so much has changed … none of it matters because it doesn’t change how I feel. And I was manipulated. I was weak enough, and angry enough that I let myself be manipulated and it’s no excuse but … Jesus Julia half our relationship has been built on mistrust!”

“I trusted you,” she said softly. No shouting, no outburst. His chest ached with the knowledge that out of everyone, he had been the one to destroy Julia Montague. 

He remained quiet, a heaviness had settled, a wall erected between them that was of her making, but his fault. 

“I am so, SO sorry Julia,” he said, holding his sorrowful eyes on hers until she looked away. “If I could go back and change it I would.”

“I think I want to be alone now.” The words were strained and not unkind, but they felt like a bullet to the chest all the same.

“I meant what I said, if I could take it back, I would. I _really_ would because...I’m falling in love with you.

Her eyes rose sharply to his, searching for deception, insincerity, but she found none, and her breath quickened.

His eyes blurred and he felt the panic rising in him, something about the way she spoke sounded so final that it consumed him. He felt her slipping away from him and the thought was killing him. But he had done what he could, he had told her the truth, and she still wanted him to leave so even though the movement caused him physical pain as much as it did mental, he accepted what she said and rose to his feet. 

He was at the door, hesitating as he considered this, the end. Their final act. 

“Wait,” she said.


End file.
